In Memoriam

JOHN HAROLD KYLE (“JACK”)

PASSED AWAY PEACEFULLY ON SATURDAY MARCH 12, 2005

AT SHOALHAVEN, NSW

AGED 93

My father passed away peacefully in the wee hours of Saturday morning shortly after being taken into palliative care less than a day before. In the last 48 hours Jack was no longer able to walk. Up until Friday Audrey had cared for him at their home in Shoalhaven Heads. As Jack said, Audrey was the best nurse as well as wife and companion for their 61 years together. His last hours were comfortable and without pain thanks to the medicine and he slipped away in his sleep. He had suffered a second heart attack in early January and despite pacemaker surgery that gave Jack some relief from angina, he never fully recovered. His Parkinson’s disease was also taking its toll. He had been in increasing discomfort and unable to properly sleep throughout February. We are all relieved that he no longer has to endure any discomfort. Jack’s mind remained alert till the end and he took a constant interest in hearing about the activities of his four grand children.

Jack was born in Dublin in 1911, pre-separation, when Southern Ireland was still part of the U.K. When Eire was formed, Jack’s father, as a protestant, gave up his career in the Dublin constabulary and moved the whole family of six children to Northern Ireland. As Jack told me, he was never accepted since he was a protestant in the South and also was never accepted with a southern Irish accent in the North. With little secondary education Jack joined his elder brother Bill in England during the depression years of the thirties. “Irish need not apply” was common on job adverts in London at that time. Jack had faced discrimination in Ireland from a child and it continued in England when in his twenties. But this discrimination was the making of the man – his courage, his fortitude, his determination. Surviving septicemia by a whisker gave him a true appreciation of life, as well as cost him all his teeth and some scar tissue.

He volunteered in 1939, even though technically being born Irish there was no wartime conscription for him. Ireland remained neutral in WW2. As Jack said, he had a lucky war. He served in the artillery on board merchant ships including as far away as Burma. One torpedo would have been enough to sink the iron ore carriers he was on very quickly. He never came under torpedo attack, though on one of his watches Jack tells the story of a dolphin which gave him a hell of a scare coming through the water towards his ship at a mighty lick!

Jack and Audrey made financial sacrifices to give me a private education. They believed that education maketh the man. Neither of my parents had had the opportunity of tertiary education. Jack would for sure have excelled had he been able to go to university. So he was that extra bit proud when his only child was able to follow in the path he could only dream of and now subsequently his grandchildren.

His courage is exemplified in selling their U.K. home and emigrating to Australia when he was already in his seventies, especially giving up his beloved garden in Sussex. His “rebel” qualities are exemplified in choosing with Audrey, to become Australian citizens when he was in his eighties. He was no monarchist. He has lived in Shoalhaven Heads for 21 years, longer than anywhere else in his itinerant life. They were happy years seeing his grandchildren born and benefiting from the mild New South Wales climate. He was hardly ever ill and until the pacemaker procedure rarely in hospital. As he told me when I last saw him in January, he took life one day at a time and each day was a gift. He had all his mental faculties to the last day of his life. He was disciplined in his habits (eating, drinking etc.) and together with his Irish genes that was the secret of his long life.

As I attempt to find words worthy of my father, I realize the words above are not enough and the words I want have yet to be invented. I only wish that I could have told him yesterday one more time how much we admire him and love him.

ADIEU AND BON VOYAGE, JACK, FROM YOUR LOVING FAMILY AND FRIENDS.